Hope, Fear, Anxiety: Resolute Determination . . .

All emotions mixed into one. My feelings as we start the path to freedom from cancer.

No radiation today but Kevin has his first radiation appointment for a trial run. They will go through the steps to ensure everything is set up correctly with his mask, and make sure he can handle it okay.

Honestly, I’m scared for him. Trying not to let my anxiety show.

Tomorrow, he starts chemo at 8:30am at Kaiser. It will be the first of 3 treatments, 3 weeks apart. They will hook up an IV and administer fluids and the chemo for 6 hours. Then, we immediately go to 21st Century for the first real radiation treatment. That will be the start of the 35 treatment countdown. 5 days a week the next or so 7 weeks.

90% success rate is great. I am relieved by the prognosis but I think it relays a message that this is easy to cure. It will not be.

His throat will hurt even more than it does now with a golf ball in his tonsil. Taste buds will go away. He will have dry mouth and may get mouth sores. Eventually, he may not be able to swallow. Peg tube is in place when he starts to lose weight.

The treatments will burn and poison the cancer, but he will have side effects. Most will heal, given time. His mind will heal as well. MY mind will heal, too. Neither of us will ever be the same though. That is not a bad thing. We will be stronger.

We have no idea what to expect really. We read about side effects and see posts of people going through it right now. I’ve been buying every suggested product to have on hand in case needed, but we really don’t know for sure what to expect. The one thing we know is certain, Kevin will succeed. He has the strength, he has the will, he has the resolute determination to fight and win this battle.

While it may be tough, Kevin has tremendous love and support from our family and friends. Thank you to everyone reaching out. Please keep in mind though, Kevin is having a tough time talking right now. They call it “hot potato” voice. It’s not all the time but the more he talks, the harder it is on his vocal chords. Please feel free to message us and I will try to reply as well as we can. Love you all tremendously.

#CimoliStrong